The Unique Benefits of ADHD Life Coaching for Adopted Women

I’ve been reflecting recently on how much ADHD life coaching has supported me, not just in how I manage my day-to-day life, but in how I feel about myself. For a long time, I felt like I didn’t quite fit in.

When I received my ADHD diagnosis in my early 50s, everything began to shift. Not only did I gain a new understanding of myself, but I also began to connect with others who share similar experiences. I found my community and a sense of belonging I was desperately missing. 

ADHD Life Coaching played a huge part in that journey.

It helped me see how ADHD shows up in my life, sometimes in ways I wasn’t even aware of. For example, I used to push myself harder whenever I felt overwhelmed. I thought that was what I should do. But coaching helped me realise that this only made things worse. What I actually needed was rest, compassion, a softer, kinder approach.

I’m still working on resting without guilt (it’s a process!), but I’ve already come a long way.

Adoption and ADHD: A Complex Mix

For those of us who are adopted, the layers of experience can run even deeper. From my own story, and from what my clients have shared, I’ve noticed how adoption and ADHD symptoms can overlap and intensify each other.

Take rejection sensitivity, for instance. Research shows that around 99% of people with ADHD experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). Add to that the potential for adoption-related fears around abandonment or rejection, and everyday interactions, like a certain tone of voice, a perceived critical comment, or even a look, can become deeply painful.

Adoptees often learn early on to be what others want them to be. We mould ourselves into versions of “acceptable”, in the hope that we’ll be liked, or at the very least, not rejected. But in doing so, we can lose touch with who we really are.

And it’s not just emotional. Research suggests that children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages or corrections than their neurotypical peers by the age of 12. That kind of repeated feedback, often without understanding or support, can lead to low self-worth, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and masking. We become experts at hiding our struggles.

What Coaching Can Do

ADHD life coaching gives us the space to untangle all of this.

Together, we can identify the old beliefs and patterns that are keeping us stuck, things like:

  • “I have to do everything perfectly or I’ll be judged.”

  • “I shouldn’t need rest.”

  • “I have to be what others want me to be.”

And from there, we can build practical strategies that support how you work best.

Coaching can help with:

  • Staying focused

  • Getting organised

  • Managing time in a way that suits your brain

  • Understanding and regulating your emotions

  • Setting healthy boundaries

  • Rebuilding confidence

But perhaps more than anything, coaching reminds us that we are not broken. We’ve just been trying to survive in a world that hasn’t understood us.

With support, understanding, and some simple but powerful tools, it’s absolutely possible to start living in a way that feels authentic and sustainable.

If you’re adopted, late-diagnosed, or still wondering if ADHD might be part of your story, know that you're not alone. Coaching can be a gentle, powerful way to reconnect with who you are and create the life you want.

I offer a complimentary 15–30 minute Discovery Call if you’d like to explore how coaching might support you. You can book it here: https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/bookings/new?package_id=95576


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